The Kissing Conundrum
by linzay19
Summary: Sheldon's reaction to the now infamous Sheldon initiated kiss. Spoilers included. Just some drabble that I had floating around me head. I had a few requests for another chapter, so changed it from a oneshot to an actual story.
1. Chapter 1

This is just a little drabble I had bouncing around after that lovely Shamy scene in The Locomotive Manipulation. :D

I'm going to keep it as a one shot, but, depending on the response I get, I may add some other chapters later.

* * *

"I deserve romance and I didn't know how else to make it happen," Amy said, obviously frustrated with the way the conversation had been going.

"Well, if you want romance, let's have romance!" Sheldon exclaimed, sparking the tantrum that would change the course of his relationship with Amy in ways that he did not even realize at the time.

"Oh look, there's wine. Mmm," Sheldon said as he picked up Amy's glass and took a big drink from it. "Grape juice that burns," he added as he chocked back the unfamiliar aftertaste of the beverage.

"Let's gaze into each other's eyes! Hmm..." Sheldon added condescendingly. His frustration with Amy was clearly getting the better of him. He was offended that his girlfriend, the person he was supposed to be able to trust the most, had betrayed and tricked him. She was getting upset over the fact that he was enjoying the train ride and had made a new friend. He didn't understand what her problem was. She had, after all, told him that this would be a weekend they both could enjoy.

"You blinked. I win!" Sheldon said, the frustration apparent in his voice.

"Sheldon..." Amy pleaded. That was the last thing Sheldon remembered clearly before things started to get a little fuzzy.

"Oh, kissing's romantic," Sheldon said without hesitation.

Without a second thought, Sheldon did something that no one, not even himself, thought he would do. He leaned in and went for it. In a split second, his lips were on Amy's, tasting the brownie that they had for dessert. It was unfamiliar territory for Sheldon and he wasn't quite sure what was happening. He felt his heart in his throat, pounding harder than he had ever imagined possible. His brain was becoming more cloudy and he felt the room starting to spin.

1 Mississippi... 2 Mississippi... 3 Mississippi... 4 Mississippi...

The next thing he knew, something else was taking over him. It was something that he didn't have statistics and data on. There were no facts or research on this feeling for him to analyze. The man who relied on logic and reason found himself without both. All he knew was that he didn't want this feeling to stop. He had to get closer to Amy and he had to do it one swift move, Sheldon stepped closer, closing the gap between them.

5 Mississippi... 6 Mississippi... 7 Mississippi... 8 Mississippi...

Still, it wasn't close enough for him. In the absence of his brain, his body took over and without realizing it, his right hand found it's way to Amy's hip. To most, this wouldn't seem like a big deal, but for Sheldon, this was something that he had never before experienced.

9 Mississippi... 10 Mississippi... 11 Mississippi...

Sheldon began to feel Amy shaking next to him. Then, he realized that he was shaking, snapping him back from the trance that had taken over him. Sheldon pulled away from Amy, not leaving much room between them. In those 11 seconds, he was out of his head and his heart was calling the shots. When he first boarded the train, all he cared about was the train itself. Now, the only thing he could think was how he didn't want to be away from Amy.

There was a moment of silence and stillness between them before Amy finally spoke.

"That was nice," she said, shocked at what had just happened.

"Good," was all that Sheldon could think of.

There was another moment of silence and stillness between them as the looked at each other, still in disbelief of the events that had just occurred. Neither of them wanted it to end, but in a fleeting second, they felt the Earth start to move again and Sheldon finally spoke.

"Umm... the conductor said if I came back to the boiler room, he'd show me how to bring the train through a crossing," he said.

"Okay, have fun," Amy said, disappointed that he was leaving her after that kiss.

"Do you want to come with me?" Sheldon asked.

"Really? I do," Amy replied.

With that, they both walked off towards the boiler room, completely wrapped up in their thoughts. To them, it was as if no one else was around. They couldn't even hear Sheldon's new friend calling after them, wanting to go with them to the boiler room. The feeling continued once in the boiler room.

As the conductor spoke, Sheldon's head was still cloudy. He barely heard a word that the conductor said, though he still acted like he was involved. Sheldon wanted to be there, in the boiler room. He wanted to see what the conductor was doing and learn more about trains. He wanted to be involved with the environment around him, but he couldn't seem to get his head together. As hard as he tried to be in that room, he felt like he was somewhere else.

"This must be cloud nine," Sheldon thought to himself.

Once at the bed and breakfast, Howard and Bernadette noticed that something was different about Sheldon and Amy. When they left them on the train, Amy was upset and Sheldon was throwing a tantrum. But, now, everything about them was different. Sheldon's entire demeanor had changed. It was almost like someone had replaced the Sheldon that they had always known with an impostor.

"What happened after we left?" Howard mumbled to Amy as Sheldon and Bernadette walked ahead to the check-in desk.

"He kissed me," was all Amy could muster, with a huge grin on her face.

"Whaaa?!" Howard said, clearly shocked. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but he knew that it wasn't that.

"We were arguing and the next thing I know, he leaned in and kissed me," Amy replied.

"Who knew that he had it in him," Howard said.

"Please don't tell Bernadette. At least not right now. I just want to have this night for myself," Amy asked of him.

"You got it," Howard promised with a grin on his face.

Once in their rooms, Sheldon laid on his bed, his thoughts swirling around his brain. For most of the night, he stayed up, replaying what happened on the train in his head. He could still feel Amy's lips on his and could still taste the brownie. He remembered the way Amy's body fit perfectly next to his. He remembered feeling her nerves getting the best of her and how his knees felt like they would give out at any second. He tried to rationalize what happened, but no matter how hard he tried, he did not succeed. All he could think about was kissing her again.

The rest of the weekend felt surreal to Sheldon. Part of him felt like he was living a very vivid dream and that he would wake up at any moment. The other part of him never wanted to wake up if this was a dream. He tried to avoid questions from Howard and only gave vague answers if he was cornered. He still didn't understand what happened, how was he supposed to answer Howard's questions?

"I'm just happy for you," Howard said as he patted Sheldon on the back. Sheldon smiled and said thank you. He was never particularly close with Howard, but hearing him say that somehow solidified what had happened for Sheldon.

The rest of the weekend was a quiet one. The conductor had stopped by the play his banjo as promised. The gang went sight-seeing during the days and had dinner at night. Sheldon sneaked in small, quick glances at Amy and felt rather successful when he wasn't caught. When they walked together, Sheldon would reach out and grab Amy's hand to feel closer to her. He wanted to kiss her again, but he never felt as though it was the right moment. As disappointing as it was for him, he knew that there would be time for that when they got home.

Before this trip, Sheldon never thought that 11 seconds could change someone's life. He never realized that a decision made in half of a second, a decision made out of anger, could effect him this much. He knew he cared about Amy before, but after those 11 seconds, he knew he loved her.


	2. Chapter 2

I decided to add another chapter since the first one got such lovely feedback. :D

Also, I know someone of this seems a little out of character, but I'm setting it up for another possible chapter.

I don't own anything, especially the first part since it came from the episode itself.

Enjoy!

* * *

"Oh hey, you're back. How was your trip? Leonard asked as Sheldon entered their apartment.

"It was wonderful," Sheldon replied enthusiastically.

"Great, what'd ya do?" Leonard asked.

"I made a new friend who likes trains as much as I do, uh, I kissed Amy on the lips, oh and, the conductor played his banjo for me," Sheldon said before he began to make his way to his bedroom. He was clearly trying to avoid the questions that he knew were inevitable from Leonard.

"w-w-w-wait. I'm gonna need more detail," Leonard said as he turned in his chair.

"Oh, well, my new friend's name is Eric, Amy's lips tasted like the brownie we had for dessert. Oh, and the banjo-playing conductor was missing a finger, but he made up for it with his can-do attitude," Sheldon replied, hoping that would satisfy Leonard's curiosity.

"No, hang on, hang on," Leonard said as he got up from his chair. "Are all those things equal to you?

"Hmm. It never occurred to me to pick a favorite," Sheldon replied.

"Well, give it a go." This had obviously peaked Leonard's interest.

"I can't answer that without collecting additional data," Sheldon replied. Truth was, he was just tired of answering all of Leonard's questions. It had been a long weekend for him and he just wanted to go to his room and be alone with his thoughts.

"Additional data. You dog!" Leonard exclaimed with a huge grin on his face. Sheldon was not having anymore of this conversation so he rattled off something about watching other nine fingered banjo players and began to make his way to his room again.

"That's not what I... you know what? Forget it. I'm going to Penny's," Leonard said as he walked towards the door to leave.

Sheldon was relieved once Leonard was gone. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to his best friend about what happened with Amy. It was just that he wasn't sure what he would say. His head was still a little foggy from the trip.

Once Sheldon got to his room, he began to unpack is things. He put his clothes away neatly in their designated places. As he was reaching into his suitcase, he found the ticket stub from the train ride. As he picked it up, he felt a small grin creep across his face. The memory of what happened on Valentine's Day was still very vivid in his mind.

He remembered the feeling of excitement that he had when they first boarded the train. He remembered saying that it was going to be the best Valentine's Day ever. Looking back on it, he began to laugh to himself. He remembered meeting Eric and going to the engine room and how happy he felt just being there.

Then, he remembered the fight he had with Amy afterwards. His stomach began to turn. If he regretted anything from the trip, it was his fight with Amy. However, the feeling quickly passed when his thoughts landed on the kiss. The way Amy's lips tasted, the way her body felt next to his, and the way they looked at each other after the kiss.

Sheldon thought back to the comment that Leonard made earlier about picking a favorite out of the events that had transpired over the weekend.

"Am I really suppose to choose a favorite?" Sheldon thought to himself. His thoughts were quickly shattered when he heard Penny squeal from her apartment. Sheldon immediately snapped out of it and began to make his way to Penny's apartment.

_*Knock, knock, knock,*_ "Penny."  
_*Knock, knock, knock,*_ "Penny."  
_*Knock, knock, knock,*_ "Penny."

Penny ripped open the door and leaped towards Sheldon as she wrapped her arms around him and began to squeeze him tightly.

"Penny, what are you doing?" Sheldon shrieked, clearly startled by Penny nearly tackling him.

"I'm so proud of you!" Penny exclaimed.

"What on earth are you talking about?" Sheldon asked as he began to separate himself from Penny's hug.

"You kissed Amy!" Penny squealed.

"You told her?!" Sheldon yelled at Leonard.

"She dragged it out of me," Leonard said in his defense.

"What's the big deal? I would have found out eventually," Penny said, confused at why Sheldon was upset that she knew about the kiss.

"The big deal is that it was something personal that I told my best friend in confidence!" Sheldon said as he slightly raised his voice. "Now, everyone is going to find out and I will have to figure out how to avoid all of the questions that I don't want to answer!"

"So what if they find out?" Penny asked, getting defensive.

"Because, maybe I'm not sure how I feel about it, yet!" Sheldon said. Leonard and Penny were shocked by Sheldon's brutal honesty about the kiss. "It was a really big step for me and, quite frankly, it only happened because I was upset with Amy."

"What do you mean?" Leonard asked.

"Amy and I were arguing. She had lied to me about her intentions of taking me on that train. She told me that it would be something that we could both enjoy, but what she really wanted was romance. I kissed her out of spite but then I began to enjoy it," Sheldon said, his voice beginning to lower.

"Do you wish you had never kissed her? Penny asked.

"Of course not. I am very fond of Amy and it made her happy," Sheldon answered.

"Sheldon, sweetie, there is nothing wrong with what happened on the train. I argue with Leonard all the time and then we have make-up sex," Penny stated.

"It is kind of nice," Leonard said sheepishly. Penny laughed and winked at Leonard.

"Honey, it's part of being in a relationship. You argue, you make up, everyone goes home happy," Penny added.

"Have you talked to Amy about the kiss?" Leonard asked.

"We were so caught up in the moment and the trip, we never really had the chance," Sheldon answered.

"Then it sounds to me like you have a phone call to make," Penny said.

"I suppose you're right. Wow, I never thought that I would say that," Sheldon said.

"I'm going to act like to didn't say that," Penny said as she pushed Sheldon out the door and closed it behind him.

"That was rude. She didn't say goodbye," Sheldon said to himself as he made his way back to his own apartment. Once he was inside, he took a deep breath before he reached for his phone and began to dial Amy's number. There were three rings before Amy finally picked up.

"Hello?" Amy said.

"Amy, we should talk about what happened on the train," Sheldon replied.

"OK, I will be over there soon," Amy responded.

After he hung up, Sheldon sat in his spot and began to think of what he would say to Amy once she got there. The thoughts were short lived when he heard a knock on the door. He opened it to see that Amy was standing there.

"That was fast," Sheldon said flatly.

"I was in the area picking up cigarettes for Ricky," Amy answered as she walked into the apartment.

"Very well. May I offer you a hot beverage? Maybe some tea?" Sheldon asked, his nerves beginning to get the better of him.

"No thank you. I would rather just skip straight to the reason I'm here. I have a feeling there won't be much time for a hot beverage," Amy said as her eyes lowered towards the floor.

"What do you mean?" Sheldon asked with a puzzled look on his face.

"You wanted to tell me that you regretted kissing me, right?" Amy asked as she raised her head to look him in the eyes.

"Why on Earth would you think that?" Sheldon asked, bothered by the fact that she would say that.

"That's usually what happens when someone calls you and says 'we need to talk,'" Amy shot back.

Amy's words ran through Sheldon like lightning. He could no believe that Amy would think such a thing. If we wasn't sure how he felt before, he knew, in the exact moment, how he felt. He led Amy over to the couch and sat down in his spot. He reached for her hand and looked her in the eyes.

"Amy, I never thought there would come a day where I said this to anyone, but I love you. I think I knew it the first day that we met, but I chose not to acknowledge it. My whole life has revolved around science and facts and I have always known certain things to be true, one of them being that love at first sight does no exist. But, there I was, standing in that coffee shop, meeting you for the first time, and feeling something that I had never experienced before. I've spent the last three years trying to understand this feeling that I get when I'm around you and I was never able to describe it until I kissed you on that train. That's when I knew it was love. I have not regretted kissing you for one second and I am sincerely sorry if I made you think that. This is all very new to me and I'm doing my best to figure it all out," Sheldon said sweetly.

"Sheldon..." Amy whispered.

Before Amy could say another word, Sheldon leaned in and kissed her ever so softly. It startled Amy at first, but she quickly fell into the kiss. Taking that as his cue, Sheldon leaned into the kiss a little more and then his head started to go fuzzy again, much like it did on the train. Once again, in the absence of his brain, his body started to take over and his hand reached for her face and landed delicately on her neck.

The world and time stopped for the two of them. They had no idea what was going on around them and they didn't seem to care. They didn't even notice that Leonard and Penny had walked into the apartment.

"Oh my God," Penny whispered as she covered her mouth with her hands, tears of happiness beginning to form in her eyes. Leonard stood at the door for a moment with a smile on his face. He was really happy for his roommate.

"Come on, let's go and give them some privacy," Leonard whispered as he shuffled Penny out the door.

Sheldon felt better after talking to Amy and he was really happy that he decided to kiss her again. He knew that he had come a long way from when they first met and he knew that he still had a long way to go, but as long as he had Amy, it didn't seem so impossible.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you to everyone who has read this story. I think this is going to be the last chapter. I have another story that is currently in progress and I really want to focus on that one. It is called All This Time. It's another Shamy story. It hasn't been updated since last year, but that is about to change. :)

As always, I don't own anything.

* * *

It had been a few weeks since Sheldon told Amy that he loved her. She was still in shock. She didn't think she would ever hear Sheldon admit that he loved her. It wasn't that she needed to hear him say it. He was Sheldon and she knew what she was getting into when she agreed to be his girlfriend. But, that he said it made her feel on top of the world. It was not only that he said it, it was how it said that made her happy. She could tell that he was speaking directly from his heart. She didn't have to drag it out of him, he offered it up freely, because he wanted her to know how he felt.

That meant more to Amy than anything he had ever done for her.

For Sheldon, it was as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He didn't have to ignore or be afraid of his feelings anymore. Things seemed to be going better for him since the last wall that he had built up came crashing down. He was able to focus better as work. He was getting along better with everyone around him. He hadn't insulted Howard in weeks. For Sheldon, it was a great time to be alive.

"Hey Sheldon," Leonard said to Sheldon, who was sitting at his laptop.

"Hey Leonard," Sheldon replied as his roommate headed from his bedroom to the front door.

"I'm staying over at Penny's tonight. We're going on a date so I won't be home for dinner," Leonard said.

"Very well then. I suppose I could invite Amy over for dinner and we could spend a quiet evening together," Sheldon replied as he got up from his desk and walked to the kitchen to make some tea.

"Really? That's the third time this week," Leonard said with a grin. He still had not told Sheldon that he and Penny had walked in on them when Sheldon told Amy that he loved her. Sheldon had not brought the subject up and Leonard didn't want to press him. He knew that his roommate would come to him in his own time. In the meantime, Leonard made Penny swear not to say anything to their friends.

Leonard was happy for Sheldon and Amy and he wanted them to have this moment. He knew their friends would make a big deal out of this and it was clearly not what Sheldon and Amy wanted. Otherwise, they would have told the group themselves.

"I suppose it is, isn't it?" Sheldon said through his own grin as he began to fill the tea kettle with water. "No matter. It's always a pleasant evening when Amy is here. Oh, and Leonard, thank you," Sheldon added sheepishly.

"For what?" Leonard asked with a puzzled look on his face.

"For not telling the others that I told Amy that I loved her," Sheldon replied, still avoiding eye contact with his roommate.

"I have not idea what you're talking about?" Leonard said, with the grin returning to his face.

"Leonard, I know you and Penny were here. I heard you shuffling out the door," Sheldon shot back, now making eye contact with Leonard.

"I'm surprised that you anything was going on around you," Leonard said.

"I'll admit, my brain was not working properly, but I was fully aware of my surroundings," Sheldon said as he began to pour hot water into his mug.

"Either way, you're welcome, Sheldon. I'm just happy for you," Leonard said as he began making his way towards Penny's apartment.

Later that evening, Sheldon heard a knock at the door. He got up from his spot and made his way over to the door, knowing who would be on the other side of it.

"Good evening, Amy," Sheldon said as his face began to glow a little.

"Good evening, Sheldon," Amy replied as she made her way inside.

"How was your day?" Sheldon asked, not really knowing what else to say. He knew that he was going to have to tell her about Leonard and Penny.

"Nothing exciting happened. Spent most of the day watching old Dr. Who episodes with Ricky," Amy replied.

"Not a bad way to spend an afternoon, if I do say so myself," Sheldon said.

"How was your day?" Amy asked. Sheldon's heart skipped at the question. He knew this was it, he was going to have to tell her.

"Rather uneventful, except for a conversation that I had with Leonard," Sheldon said.

"What was the conversation about?" Amy questioned.

"I simply thanked him for not telling our friends that I told you that I loved you the other night," Sheldon said as he began to avoid eye contact with Amy.

"Wait, did you tell him that you said it?" Amy asked, not sure how to feel. They had never really discussed if they were going to tell their friends about that night or not.

"No, Leonard and Penny had walked in right as it was happening. I heard them leave as were kissing," Sheldon said matter-of-factly.

"They did?" Amy asked, slightly embarrassed.

"Yes, and then I heard Leonard say something about giving us privacy and then they left. I thought Leonard would have said something by now, but he never brought it up. He hasn't said anything to Raj or Howard either," Sheldon said.

"How do you know that? Did Leonard tell you that he hadn't?" Amy asked.

"He didn't have to. If those two knew, they would have heckled me about it already," Sheldon replied.

"I suppose that's true. Well, should we tell them?" Amy asked.

"I don't see why it's any of their concern," Sheldon replied.

"True, but I would like to discuss the matter with my friends. It's something that women commonly do when something significant happens in their relationship. You know if I tell Bernadette, she will tell Howard, who will in turn tell Raj. It will get around either way," Amy said.

"I suppose you're right. We'll tell them tomorrow night as dinner," Sheldon said.

"Very well," Amy replied. With that, Sheldon and Amy began to watch a movie and drink the tea that Sheldon had prepared for them.

The evening seemed to be going nicely, but Sheldon couldn't help but feel like something was nagging him. He wasn't sure what it was. He was watching one of his favorite movies with one of his favorite people while drinking one of his favorite drinks. And then it hit him, like a ton of bricks.

"Amy, can I ask you a question?" Sheldon asked, startling Amy.

"Of course," she said as she turned to face him.

"Do you love me?" he asked, looking down at his hands. This was going to be an incredibly difficult conversation if she didn't;t answer the way he hoped he would.

"What makes you think that I don't?" Amy asked with a puzzled look on her face. Sheldon shifted uncomfortably in his spot before answering her.

"It's just that, I told you that I loved you, but you didn't say it back," Sheldon answered. His nerves were slightly relieved when he heard her start giggling slightly.

"Sheldon, you didn't give me a chance. You told me that you loved me and then kissed me. I'm sorry that I didn't say it. I just thought that it would be implied," Amy said with a grin on her face.

"One should never assume things, "Sheldon said, a smile beginning to creep along his face as he raised his stare to meet Amy's.

"I love you, Sheldon. I always have," Amy said as she leaned in to kiss Sheldon, which he happily reciprocated.

After a few seconds, Sheldon broke the kiss and gazed into Amy's eye.

"You're a vixen, Amy Farrah Fowler. Remind me to thank Raj and Howard for signing me up for that ludicrous dating website," Sheldon said as he smiled at Amy before leaning back in to kiss her.

Sheldon and Amy were happy and nothing else mattered besides that.


End file.
